Dear God. I've only prayed to you a few times, and right now is one of them. I know you don't normally condone solicitation on your page, but here's my story.
You saved me. I battle with suicidal tendencies, and a few times I came close to following through. I was studying (not really, I mostly ditched the class to binge watch Inception when it came out in theaters ultimately seeing it 6 times to avoid the regret of my educational shortcomings, but I digress) sustainability. Some of these issues everyone is already aware of, but the class showed me how complicated it really is. Energy generation, waste management, water treatment, cradle to grave economics, greenwashing media campaigns, plastic filling up our oceanic gyres and animals stomachs... I could go on and on. This class did not help my depression, it made it much worse. A psychologist told me my feeling of despair over the state of the world was completely rational. Hearing this did not help either. I wanted to help, but had no idea what direction to take which would have a not just a personal, but global impact - because that's the enormity of the issues we're facing - species ending, potentially irreversible changes. Sure, the planet will still be here if we all die, the rocks and the water and air will survive us. But will life? formal occasion garment in white color
My depression finally got the better of me and I decided to write my parents a goodbye note, got in my car and drove up the mountain where I live. I was going to jump off the cliff to the rocky depths 1000 bellow. I never could follow thru with self harm, I was too much of a wuss for pain.
On the drive up I gave you an ultimatum. I said "God, if you want me here, if I have some higher purpose to help people in this life, give me a sign." I turned on the radio, and held seek.
The music blasted me in the face. I was jarred by the crescendo of a classical symphony. Thinking that was quite odd, I wondered if you were trying to get my attention.
The next station told me to "give it one more day", sung/mixed by a reggae artist.
My resolve starting to shake, I searched for one more station. A woman began to sing about the loss of her loved one, how the pain of missing him was breaking her heart. I thought of my mother and what this would do to her.
Utterly defeated, I changed my direction and drove to a Buddhist temple where the attendant played the part of gracious host. I briefly mediated in the temple, and we shared tea, talking about life and the land until the sun went down.
I threw away the note.
Now, this is a roundabout way of getting to my point, but I want to say thank you. Thank you for my family who brought me into this world, the employers who allowed my father and mother to put a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food on the table, and the patience to deal with me as an annoying little shit of a child. Thank you to the community surrounding me, and the educators who put in their time teaching me about the world. Sure, public education isn't perfect, but neither are we. Some teachers can be strict, or unfair, or biased, or even factually incorrect, but they do what they do not for the money, they could probably make more bartending. They do it because they care about the next generation.
I may not always show it, but I appreciate the blessings you have bestowed upon me. I've always wanted to find the best way for me to give back, but I ultimately resigned myself that it was too big, and I am just one man. But oh, what a difference one man can make in the right situation. Sure, heaps of money can help thru charity, but even a simple act of kindness to a total stranger can create a ripple that goes on forever. I want to make a tidal wave, but to do that I need your help.
I am starting a clothing line, not necessarily PG, but full of witt and humor, because we all deserve to laugh. Even doctors say so, happiness is good for your health. The link is bellow, if you can find it in you to help this imperfect being get going, I promise I will try to give back to the best of my ability.